BREAK UP LINES

break-up lines from (stupid) guys 

1. “I just realized that I don’t want to be touched.”
–Whaddafuckisdat?! 
faye = ikaw na lang pud i-touched? yuck oi… luod!!!

2. I’m confused and I need some time out to find myself!!!
–Eto flashlight, go look for yourself! 
faye = baliktada ang t-shirt oi!!!

3. “Maybe this is not the right time for us.”
–Anak ng tipaklong! di na kita tatanggapin ulit no?! 
faye = tingin mo naman aantayin kita?

4. “Di kita maalagaan ng tulad ng ineexpect mo. You deserve someone better. That’s not me.” 
–eh niligawan mo pa ako at pinasagot? jerk! 
faye = obvious… gago!

5. “Lasing lang ako kagabi. Sorry.” 
–Eh ako ba lasing?! 
faye = P*T!&G &%A MO!!!!

6. Eto kinuwento sa akin ng friend ko, na sinabi daw sa kanya ng boyfriend niya. “We are too different from each other.” To which my angry friend retorted: “Tama
ka diyan! I’m a woman, you’re a wuss.” LOL buti nga.
faye = GO GIRL!!!  KICK HIS FUCKIN ASS!!!

7. “We have to meet other people to see what it’s like to be with someone else. I’m giving you that choice. if you come back to me, we’ll both be better from having chosen freely.” 
–labo nmn nun! 
faye = ako babalik??? manigas ka!!!

8. “Someday, hahanapin kita, when we’re both ready. When we don’t care about the odds. Kung tayo talaga, tayo rin in the end, di ba?” 
–Wha!!! Wha!!! Wala ka nang babalikan! 
faye = bakit..kala mo makakalabas ka pa dito ng buhay?

9. “I really think that we should break up.” “Why?” “Because I don’t know if I still love you.” 
–Ouch pare! Oks lang sana kung ganun lang eh… tapos next week may kasama na siyang iba. Olrayt sa okei! 
faye = how honest of you… sapak gusto mo?

10. “I just realized I haven’t had time to walk my dog…” 
–LOL sapul! 
faye = DOG? yuck… dog-fucker ka pla?

11. “It’s not you, it’s me…” 
–Ket? Whats wrong with you?… 
Kunyari, patay mali sya para pahirapan sya… 
faye = TAMA!!! sya ang tanga,gago at may kasalanan…

12. “I can no longer handle multiple priorities!!” 
eto naman sagot ko: Multiple orgasm kaya mo i-handle!
faye = multiple homicide kaya ko i-commit…let me show you how… payag ka?
 
faye = meron pa isa…
 
him: “may problema ako…”
her: “pano ako makatulong?”
him: “di ba di pa ako pwede manligaw pag may syota pa ako?”
her: “ala ka ng problema..”
him: “break na tayo? (masaya sya)”
her: “basta la ka na problema”
him: “can you call this #? palakas mo ko sa kanya”
 
faye = BAYOTA KA!!! BAYOT!!! BAYOT!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….
 
faye